MY FIRST BLIND DATE!!!

Ok, so I had a blind date the other day with a really hot chick! and she's a senior like me! I was sooooo nervous I made sure I wore my most manly outfit which is the camo hoodie that Daddy got me cause it drives him insane when Mom puts me in silly outfits cause I'm a dude and all.  So Mom has this animal activist friend and her name is Persia and she used to be on a show Mom loved called "Girlfriends" and she does some really crazy music and stuff and she's a VEGAN so of course we think she's super cool and she's now on a show and she plays a WITCH! How cool is that?? So we go and meet and I almost peed myself ( well actually I did lol!) cause her name is Kisses and guess what??? SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME!!! Persia and Mom laughed really hard at us because maybe we are brother and sister?? uh oh! Well Kisses is TOTALLY HOT!!! How can she not be, she looks JUST like me! Did I say that already?? So I gave her this engagement outfit so now we are officially going steady, I need to buy her a dog collar so's we can get married,  Mom can marry us because she is a minister and it only cost her $14 to get the certificate! Did I mention that Mom's friend Persia is on The Vampire Diaries? Did you know that Mom makes everyone shut up while me and her watch TVD every Thurs and she yells at Dad to shut the hell up? We LOVE that show! I especially like that vampire with the crazy eyes, the really mean one, whats his name? I can't remember, we call him crazy eyes. Well there's a few that are mean, I like Crazy Eyes and that other mean one who is a Brit. So anyway, I can't WAIT till I see my girl again so here's a few pics for everyone to gander at and be jealous of because we are such a HOT couple... later peeps!! xoxox Otis

My Take On the Golden Globes Red Carpet....WOOF!!!!

My take on the Golden Globe red carpet:

Angelina Jolie, you are a home wrecker and stole a nice Greek girl’s man……BUT YOU NAILED IT! Gorgeous….

Brad Pitt, lay off the botox dude!

Claire Danes, beautiful, classic you go girl!

When did Kelly Osbourne turn into Helen Mirren???

 The REAL Helen Mirren, beautiful!

Lea Michelle, love you girl for always sticking up for us critters, but that dress?? Ummmm NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Piper Perabo please return that lampshade to the Lamps R Us store right NOW!

Nicole Kidman……STUNNING and I want to pee on your leg!

Octavia Spencer BEAUTIFUL and ELEGANT head to toe I give you 4 paws up!

Zooey love you gurl, but that Marlo Thomas hair was a little too much!

Sofia Vergara my mom is jealous of your boobs!

Tina Fey, mom knows a really great GREEK stylist you need to meet, that dress with that hair made my eyes hurt!

Julie Bowen you were a vision of blah-ness….

Jessica Biel you have an adopted pitbull you could wear a dress made out of dog poop and I would still love you, besides you are smoking hot and too good for that Timberlake dude, DUMP HIM and date ME!

Sarah Michelle Gellar, ummmmmmm  BIG FAT NO!! were you wearing a Ben & Jerry flavor???

Salma Salma Salma, all that money and still you shop at Wal-Mart?

Madonna, you are not 20 anymore lose the bangles and fingerless gloves  and your hair and makeup sucked and…….. SINCE WHEN DO PEOPLE FROM DETROIT HAVE BRITISH ACCENTS????

Heidi Klum…..yawn!!

Tilda, LOVED that dress! But please stop doing ads with fur or I will pee on your leg!!!

Busy Phillips…..WTF????????

Amanda Peet mom says next time you can just borrow her Gunne Sax 8^th grade graduation dress!

Guilaina Rancic you are always and forever gorgeous!!

Ricky Gervais what happened??? You were so boring last nite that me and Mom fell asleep!!

What's The Big Deal About Gay Marriage??

I just don't get it, what's the hoopla all about, why can't 2 people ( or 3 or 5 ) who love each other get married? You know, we dogs have sex with each other all of the time, sometimes my 2 sisters hump and attack each other just like real human couples do, sometimes my sister Lola has sex with a pillow, I sleep with my brother Boo, we are not hurting anyone so what's the big deal? Mom says that some small minded people have problems with gay people and that gay people have been around longer than anyone even knows about like before she was born! I think she said that back then they were called hairdressers or priests or something like that........

Sometimes Chihuahuas mess up!

and by mess up I don't mean that sometimes i pee right in front of the doggy door to outside!  I saw on a website that TB was starting airing this month, someone just told me I'm wrong! This is why you shouldn't always believe what you read on the internet! my bad! I guess I better just ask Pam and see what she says....... MY BAD!!!! Anyway, it was a good excuse to post a pic of me and a hot lady, I'm just sayin, not that I like to brag or anything...... later peeps!

True Blood

Well well well, bet none of you peeps even knew what a HUGE True Blood fan I am now did ya?? 16 days until the the season premiere, I'm so excited I may just have to go and pee on my Dad's amp! I kinda have the inside scoop on what's gonna happen this season, but I'm keeping my furry little lips shut cause those vampires kinda scare me a little! Oh yeah, I have a fave character on TB, can you guess which one it is??? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! later peeps!

My Mom The Pimp

I think I may have the BEST Mom in the world! She drags me to work sometimes and shoves me into the arms of some really cool people, and they don't mind if I smell like pee either! Here I am with actor Martin Henderson, he's from a weird and far away place called New Zealand, I might want to live there some day if everyone there is as nice as he is, and for some reason, all of mom's lady friends were reallllyyy jealous I got to meet him, I wonder why?? LOOK how close I am to Dita Von Teese too! even tho it's only a picture of her, why does she have that gun in her mouth?? I would have rather been on her lap, maybe soon.....

Paris Hilton

I don't like her, I'm just sayin....... Someone needs to grab by her and shake her really hard and tell her she better STOP buying chihuahua puppies from pet stores, how stupid is she??? Doesn't she know those puppies come from puppy mills? I heard she has freakishly big feet too! Like, they don't even have her size at the stores where the trannies shop! I know someone that calls her Bigfoot..... that's all I have to say right now, I'm sure something else will make me an angry little man later on today..... later peeps!

When Did Hooker Shoes Become Fashionable???

Hey There, Otis here and it's my very FIRST blog entry! First a little about me, I'm about 10 years old which makes me around 70 in dog years, so I realllllyyyy have lotsa experience and I know what I'm talking about! I came from a real scary place, it's called THE POUND, do you know about it? My Mom volunteers for doggie rescue and she went and got me out of that hell-hole, there's LOTS of dogs in that crappy-scary place, and cats too! ALL kinds of dogs, Mom hates when people buy pets from stores and breeders, it makes her homicidal. She's homicidal.... a lot..... Anyway, who is this loobiton guy and why does he design hooker shoes and sell them for so much money??? Because really people, high-heeled platform shoes like, you can find on Hollywood Blvd, and for CHEAP!  I think they are super-ugly, so does Mom, and we have the best taste you know. I consider myself a bit of fashionista, it's in my blood.  So, what you should do if you like those loobitons or whatever they are, go buy a cheap pair on Hollywood and donate that other money you would have paid for those expensive shoes to an animal rescue ok? Oh yeah, Paris Hilton wears those ugly hooker shoes too, I don't like her....at all..... later peeps!  Otis

Today

Oh yeah, I met Adam Lambert today, yup that guy who SHOULD have won American Idol, but thank DOG he didn't because isn't that like, the kiss of death to your musical career? But what do I know, I'm just a dog..... he's really NICE! and low-key, I hope he joins Queen, I sure would like to see that, and pee on an amp or sumthin..... wonder when I'll see that pic of me and Lambert, I'm talking to YOU Miguel!!!