I THINK I'M GAY!

Well well well, I came to a pretty big realization the other day....... I THINK I'M GAY! been thinking about it and all of the sudden I realized that everything points to me being gay, just some examples:

I LOVE RuPauls Drag Race-maybe I'm gay?

I'd rather hump my brother Vinnie than my sister Lola-maybe I'm gay?

Mike Ruiz gave me a hard on when he held me-this could go either way

Vinnie and I make out all day long every day-maybe I'm gay?

I hate hooker shoes and think they are tacky-maybe I'm gay?

I don't like Paris Hilton-pretty sure I'm gay!

Just like Moms I will kill myself if Sharon Needles does not win Drag Race-maybe I'm gay?

Adam Lambert gave me a hard on-maybe I'm gay?

I could care less about Pamela Anderson even tho she does soooo much for animals which is super-cool! -Pretty sure I'm gay!

I like to dress up in fancy outfits and always look my best-maybe I'm gay?

I HATE baseball-OH I'M GAY! 

I sure wish Moms would take me to The Abbey-I'm totally GAY-YAY!!!! 

LOVE TO YOU MY FELLOW GAYS NOW SOMEONE GET ME A NOH8 CAMPAIGN!!! 

Love Otie xoxoxoxox

BIG PIMPIN AND STUFF LIKE THAT

Well well well, I’ll bet none of you peeps even KNOW what a GANGSTA I am now do you? Yep, me and Moms went to a video shoot for Game, the rapper, it was in some scary place downtown and me and Moms were terrified that we’d see some poor stray dogs down there cause people like to dump them ya know, and well, me and Moms, if we see a loose dog we want to help, even though we are full with dogs at home and the rescue that Moms is with is full too and really not enough people are helping, but don’t get me started on that, back to this gangsta video shoot…. I am just curious why are so many BIG black men are afraid of me? I woulda thought, ya know, I’m black too homies AND my name IS OTIS hello!!! But most of the dudes on this shoot, were really scared of me, it was crazy, do I look like a COP or something?? I mean, when Moms got close to a lot of the gangsters, they all got all scared and hot footed it away from us and we laughed like nobody’s business! I am small BUT I AM POWERFUL PEOPLE!! Ya know?? Here we were on a rappers video shoot, and well, he is a Blood, and well, even tho I’m black and my name is Otis, still I am a Chihuahua so really I am Mexican! Ohhhhh now it makes sense! Maybe they thought it was a set-up by some Mexican gangmembers!! I AM A BLACK MEXICAN!!! I kinda thought I was an honorary Blood you know, but maybe I should hang with Snoop DOGG hello and be a Crip instead and Moms has a friend whose uncle was the head of La Eme ( google it! ) so let’s just say we gots it pretty covered all around and maybe that’s why Moms has such a smart and sassy mouth and is such a trouble maker ahahahaha!!!!! Oh, by the way, I peed on Game a little bit I DID! bwahahahahahaahha!!!!! Before I forget, here’s the rescue that Moms is with, not only do they save pitbulls, they save little guys like me too and they don’t care if we PEE on them, they are great peeps!   www.bulliesandbuddies.com    feel free to make a donation so they can help more like me and so that me and Game can open up our Shelter For Former Homeless Pimps ok? Later everyone! Xox Otis aka Lil Otie aka Otis DOGG

SPECIAL THANKS TO MIGUEL STARCEVICH FOR LETTING ME USE YOUR PHOTO EVEN THO YOU DON'T KNOW IT CAUSE I'M GANGSTA LIKE DAT!

WATCH THE VIDEO!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jctFfjJV5n0&feature=channel

GLAMBERT MANIA!!!!!

WELL WELL WELL!!! LOOKEE HERE PEOPLE! I Finally made it into a HOT and cool and edgy fashion magazine, how many of you peeps can say that? Ok, wow, I got to meet Adam Lambert, ya know, and me and Moms were kinda scared because well, he's got such a big personality and all, but wow, he's totally mellow and cool! I heard he got into a fight with his boyfriend before and well, I was kinda scared and had to pee really bad, but he's a totally cool dude and and I gage people on how they react to me, and he made a beeline for me and wanted to pet me, so we were all cool after that, I can tell even if he punches someone out once in awhile, he's still a good guy, he posed me with after all and he was super gentle with me! His eyes are super cool too, no matter what those peeps on blogs say, they ARE crazy colored, I saw them with my own black little beady eyes up close! Oh yeah, all you peeps complaining I wasn't styled for the shoot, I wasn't supposed to be in the magazine but that crazy dude Miguel asked Glambert if he'd take a pic with me cause he knows my mom likes to promote former death row doggies like me, so yeah, FAULT Magazine SHOULD have put us on the COVER so I may have to pee of some editors the next time I see them, or at least on their iPhone or sumthin..... Oh yeah, we were "trending" yesterday, what the hell is that? I don't know, I'm a dog, I know about eating and sleeping and barking and peeing, I like to pee... a lot, as a matter of fact my Moms was terrified I'd accidentally pee on Glamberts couture clothes and that she'd have to pay for them ahahahahahaha!!!  Hey you young people, guess what? is sucks to get old!! later peeps! xoxox Otis

Missed One!

Oh yeah, Sandra Bullock, can you please go find my mom's evil grandmother's grave, dig her up, and give her the ugly dress back that you stole from her? bwahahahahahaha!!!! 

OSCAR RED CARPET FASHION, I SURE HAD TO PEE....A LOT!!!

Ready for my Oscar red carpet raves and rants people? Well too bad cause he it is! And as you can see, I know a ill sum thin about A listers too, not to brag, but I'm gonna anyway, cause me and Hilary, we go waaaaayyyyyy back and did you know that she goes to super high kill pounds and saves dogs herself without anyone knowing? yup she does, she is an AAAAA++++++ LISTER! 

We love Giuliana Rancic she is always gorgeous and she survived breast cancer too we look up to her, she's a classy lady! 

Who is this nazi sounding dude Wolfgang? I'm not feeling his fashion choice he looks like a waiter

Kelly Osbourne your hair a MESS and why did you steal Helen Mirrens  dress again??

Berence Bejo i want to hump your leg!

Nick Nolte YOU SCARE ME!! YOU ARE AS SCARY AS THE POUND!!!!

The chunky Bridesmaid girl looks amazing. See Mom there is hope for fatties like you!!!

The girl from the Descendants is boring I think I have to go outside and pee on some stuff right now to get some inspiration brb!

Is Ryan Secrets gay?

Jessica  Chastain what upholstery shop did you rob? Bitch get off the carpet already….and by bitch I don’t mean my sister Lola!

Clooney's HOT girlfriend put your hair up and slap on some red lipstick please and by red lipstick I dont mean my peepee!!

Viola Davis you look amazing love the subtle greem eye makeup to play off of your gorgeous green dress that looks like lush grass so I need to go outside and pee again and why do us black people have more style than those whiteys? Hmmmmmmm

Rooney Mara mom refuses to watch the remake of that movie you made but we both are wondering when you got caught in that roll of toilet paper???

P Diddy barf!

P Diddly makes me want to go outside eat grass and barf. Then pee and poop on it

ohhhhhh Sweet Michelle Williams, LOVE that dress girl! would have looked better with a nice big choker and next time match the lips to the dress, otherwise 4 paws up and I pee on dad's shoes for you! 

 Angelina Jolie, boring! did the homeless guy at 7-11 do your hair or what? you look like you smell like pee….are you smoking too much weed with Brad now or what?

Meryl streep love you but that dress looked like a gold jiffy pop stove top popcorn thingy 

Milla Milla Milla, you are the only one who wore white and looked STUNNING 8 paws up over here! 

Best Dressed tie between Tina Fey and General Aladeen!

I'd write more, but Jerseyliscious was on and me and Mom's find it more inspirational than these boring awards shows, so later peeps!

xoxo

Otie

OH WHAT A DAY!!!!

So today Mom’s grabbed me and ran out the door to yet another shoot, can a little guy ever get a rest?? There was lots of tension at this one, a lot of men in suits running around looking at their watches  and saying “you have 3 minutes” and “you have 5 minutes” and “you have  2 minutes” and Mom’s friend Miguel the crazy guy with the camera was moving shit around and checking lights and I thought Mom was gonna have a heart attack cause it seemed like Osama Bin Laden was in the building or something,  cause all these men in suits looked like secret service or sumthin, is that his name? the Prez, is it Osama??  and boy did I have to PEE real bad!! Well anyway, then this older dude finally walks in and wow, I think I saw him in that drag race show that mom watches?? I know I’ve seen this dude in a dress, I’m sure of it! Anyway, he was really cool and he told us that he has a bunch of rescued animals at home, and ya know what? I didn’t even pee on him, not one drop! I really liked him, he was cool…… who is our Prez again? And what’s this guys name, does anyone know?  Later peeps! 

MY FIRST BLIND DATE!!!

Ok, so I had a blind date the other day with a really hot chick! and she's a senior like me! I was sooooo nervous I made sure I wore my most manly outfit which is the camo hoodie that Daddy got me cause it drives him insane when Mom puts me in silly outfits cause I'm a dude and all.  So Mom has this animal activist friend and her name is Persia and she used to be on a show Mom loved called "Girlfriends" and she does some really crazy music and stuff and she's a VEGAN so of course we think she's super cool and she's now on a show and she plays a WITCH! How cool is that?? So we go and meet and I almost peed myself ( well actually I did lol!) cause her name is Kisses and guess what??? SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME!!! Persia and Mom laughed really hard at us because maybe we are brother and sister?? uh oh! Well Kisses is TOTALLY HOT!!! How can she not be, she looks JUST like me! Did I say that already?? So I gave her this engagement outfit so now we are officially going steady, I need to buy her a dog collar so's we can get married,  Mom can marry us because she is a minister and it only cost her $14 to get the certificate! Did I mention that Mom's friend Persia is on The Vampire Diaries? Did you know that Mom makes everyone shut up while me and her watch TVD every Thurs and she yells at Dad to shut the hell up? We LOVE that show! I especially like that vampire with the crazy eyes, the really mean one, whats his name? I can't remember, we call him crazy eyes. Well there's a few that are mean, I like Crazy Eyes and that other mean one who is a Brit. So anyway, I can't WAIT till I see my girl again so here's a few pics for everyone to gander at and be jealous of because we are such a HOT couple... later peeps!! xoxox Otis

My Take On the Golden Globes Red Carpet....WOOF!!!!

My take on the Golden Globe red carpet:

Angelina Jolie, you are a home wrecker and stole a nice Greek girl’s man……BUT YOU NAILED IT! Gorgeous….

Brad Pitt, lay off the botox dude!

Claire Danes, beautiful, classic you go girl!

When did Kelly Osbourne turn into Helen Mirren???

 The REAL Helen Mirren, beautiful!

Lea Michelle, love you girl for always sticking up for us critters, but that dress?? Ummmm NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Piper Perabo please return that lampshade to the Lamps R Us store right NOW!

Nicole Kidman……STUNNING and I want to pee on your leg!

Octavia Spencer BEAUTIFUL and ELEGANT head to toe I give you 4 paws up!

Zooey love you gurl, but that Marlo Thomas hair was a little too much!

Sofia Vergara my mom is jealous of your boobs!

Tina Fey, mom knows a really great GREEK stylist you need to meet, that dress with that hair made my eyes hurt!

Julie Bowen you were a vision of blah-ness….

Jessica Biel you have an adopted pitbull you could wear a dress made out of dog poop and I would still love you, besides you are smoking hot and too good for that Timberlake dude, DUMP HIM and date ME!

Sarah Michelle Gellar, ummmmmmm  BIG FAT NO!! were you wearing a Ben & Jerry flavor???

Salma Salma Salma, all that money and still you shop at Wal-Mart?

Madonna, you are not 20 anymore lose the bangles and fingerless gloves  and your hair and makeup sucked and…….. SINCE WHEN DO PEOPLE FROM DETROIT HAVE BRITISH ACCENTS????

Heidi Klum…..yawn!!

Tilda, LOVED that dress! But please stop doing ads with fur or I will pee on your leg!!!

Busy Phillips…..WTF????????

Amanda Peet mom says next time you can just borrow her Gunne Sax 8^th grade graduation dress!

Guilaina Rancic you are always and forever gorgeous!!

Ricky Gervais what happened??? You were so boring last nite that me and Mom fell asleep!!

What's The Big Deal About Gay Marriage??

I just don't get it, what's the hoopla all about, why can't 2 people ( or 3 or 5 ) who love each other get married? You know, we dogs have sex with each other all of the time, sometimes my 2 sisters hump and attack each other just like real human couples do, sometimes my sister Lola has sex with a pillow, I sleep with my brother Boo, we are not hurting anyone so what's the big deal? Mom says that some small minded people have problems with gay people and that gay people have been around longer than anyone even knows about like before she was born! I think she said that back then they were called hairdressers or priests or something like that........

Sometimes Chihuahuas mess up!

and by mess up I don't mean that sometimes i pee right in front of the doggy door to outside!  I saw on a website that TB was starting airing this month, someone just told me I'm wrong! This is why you shouldn't always believe what you read on the internet! my bad! I guess I better just ask Pam and see what she says....... MY BAD!!!! Anyway, it was a good excuse to post a pic of me and a hot lady, I'm just sayin, not that I like to brag or anything...... later peeps!

True Blood

Well well well, bet none of you peeps even knew what a HUGE True Blood fan I am now did ya?? 16 days until the the season premiere, I'm so excited I may just have to go and pee on my Dad's amp! I kinda have the inside scoop on what's gonna happen this season, but I'm keeping my furry little lips shut cause those vampires kinda scare me a little! Oh yeah, I have a fave character on TB, can you guess which one it is??? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! later peeps!

My Mom The Pimp

I think I may have the BEST Mom in the world! She drags me to work sometimes and shoves me into the arms of some really cool people, and they don't mind if I smell like pee either! Here I am with actor Martin Henderson, he's from a weird and far away place called New Zealand, I might want to live there some day if everyone there is as nice as he is, and for some reason, all of mom's lady friends were reallllyyy jealous I got to meet him, I wonder why?? LOOK how close I am to Dita Von Teese too! even tho it's only a picture of her, why does she have that gun in her mouth?? I would have rather been on her lap, maybe soon.....

Paris Hilton

I don't like her, I'm just sayin....... Someone needs to grab by her and shake her really hard and tell her she better STOP buying chihuahua puppies from pet stores, how stupid is she??? Doesn't she know those puppies come from puppy mills? I heard she has freakishly big feet too! Like, they don't even have her size at the stores where the trannies shop! I know someone that calls her Bigfoot..... that's all I have to say right now, I'm sure something else will make me an angry little man later on today..... later peeps!

When Did Hooker Shoes Become Fashionable???

Hey There, Otis here and it's my very FIRST blog entry! First a little about me, I'm about 10 years old which makes me around 70 in dog years, so I realllllyyyy have lotsa experience and I know what I'm talking about! I came from a real scary place, it's called THE POUND, do you know about it? My Mom volunteers for doggie rescue and she went and got me out of that hell-hole, there's LOTS of dogs in that crappy-scary place, and cats too! ALL kinds of dogs, Mom hates when people buy pets from stores and breeders, it makes her homicidal. She's homicidal.... a lot..... Anyway, who is this loobiton guy and why does he design hooker shoes and sell them for so much money??? Because really people, high-heeled platform shoes like, you can find on Hollywood Blvd, and for CHEAP!  I think they are super-ugly, so does Mom, and we have the best taste you know. I consider myself a bit of fashionista, it's in my blood.  So, what you should do if you like those loobitons or whatever they are, go buy a cheap pair on Hollywood and donate that other money you would have paid for those expensive shoes to an animal rescue ok? Oh yeah, Paris Hilton wears those ugly hooker shoes too, I don't like her....at all..... later peeps!  Otis

Today

Oh yeah, I met Adam Lambert today, yup that guy who SHOULD have won American Idol, but thank DOG he didn't because isn't that like, the kiss of death to your musical career? But what do I know, I'm just a dog..... he's really NICE! and low-key, I hope he joins Queen, I sure would like to see that, and pee on an amp or sumthin..... wonder when I'll see that pic of me and Lambert, I'm talking to YOU Miguel!!!